Warning labels for common products.

On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive with Sun Shade in Place."

On an infant's bath tub: "Do not throw baby out with bath water."

On a Magic 8 Ball: "Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test."

On a roll of Life Savers Candies: "Not to be used as a flotation device."

On a Refrigerator: "Refrigerate after opening."

On a disposable razor: "Do not use during an earthquake."

On pantyhose: "Not to be used in the comission of a felony."

On a piano: "Harmful or fatal if swallowed."

On a palm sander: "Not to be used to sand palms."

On syrup of ipecac: "Caution: May cause vomiting."

On a revolving door: "Passenger compartments for individual use only."

On a microscope: "Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear."

On children's alphabet blocks: "Letters may be used to construct words, phrases, and sentences that may be deemed offensive."

On a wet suit: "Capacity, 1."