Some of the Dumbest Things Ever Said

[Your benefits have been denied because of your death.] If you believe this information is not correct, please contact Social Security. Official letter from Medicare, denying benefits to a retired housekeeper, 1993

I answer in the affirmative with an emphatic "No." Sir Boyle Roche, 18th Century M.P. from Tralee.

I strongly support the feeding of children. President Gerald Ford, speaking about the School Lunch Bill

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. Mike Murphy, advisor to Lamar Alexander in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination in 1996

No entry except for access. sign in Victoria Street, London

There are four departments. There's the executive, and the legislative, and the judicial, and - the Bill of Rights. Senator Kenneth S. Wherry (Nebraska)

The only luxury is freedom, freedom of the mind. They can chop off my head and take everything else as long as they leave me that. Dieter Meier, member of the rock group Yello.

While I write this letter, I have a pistol in one hand and a sword in the other. Sir Boyle Roche

If we hadn't given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different. Hokes Bluff (Alabama) high school football coach H. K. "Cootie" Reeves, after his team lost 53-0 in the state Double A title game.

I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear. Attributed to George Romney in National Review, 1967

Separate together in a bunch. [And don't] stand around so much in bundles. Director Michael Curtiz to movie extras

When two trains approach each other at a crossing, they shall both come to a full stop and neither shall start up until the other has gone. A law in Kansas

It is indeed fitting that we gather here today to pay tribute to Abraham Lincoln, who was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands. unnamed politician, in a speech honoring Lincoln, as reported by Senator Morris K. ("Mo") Udall